Mind boggling thinking of the infinite possibilities of all the different human experiences. As humans, we're not comfortable with boggled minds, so we research, analyse, write, sort through it all to come up with right and wrong. Even those with the strongest opinions still change their opinions but then jump on the horse of their new opinion. I am learning to be comfortable with the idea that it's all true... or none of it is. Overall, I feel much better with this thought than with trying to decide what I think is right or wrong. I have better relationships with my children when I can accept that something they do or say is true or "right" for them or for that moment. I notice that change happens whether I allow it to or not, whether I force it or not. When I cannot accept something and either try to block it or force it, I just make myself miserable and disconnect from those I love.
I've been practicing this in our recent transition as well. We are transitioning. It is what we want and it is happening no matter what we do now. I can have anxiety over every detail, or I can accept the uncertainty of each moment and trust that all is moving forward. This transition is a force of its own and I cannot control it now. I must reserve my energy for myself, not use it up trying to control everybody and every experience, trying to make everyone happy, trying to help others when I'm needing so much help and support myself. I must trust that all things will happen just in time or I will know what to do when action is needed.
This entire time in Geneva has been a transition for us. We were like caterpillars. We decided to enter this new state of transformation. What a risk, what uncertainty, we didn't even know what we were doing, just knew that it's what we wanted and needed. The last two years have been full of uncertainty, and I have spent half of the time riding it, making the most of it, loving it, and the other half of the time worrying about it and wondering anxiously about what my next move would or should be. Now I can see that all that we were dissolved in this stage of chrysalis. Bit by bit we are taking the parts we want to keep, reforming into different, larger, more than we were before.
There is no end. Human life on earth is a transition itself. It never gets done. Just like I could not have known what our personal transition would do for us, I cannot know what this life will do for All That Is. All I can do is enjoy it, or not. All I can do is keep moving forward, trusting that motion and my place in it.
With great love!
Jolene =)
Jasmijn found one of my purses on the day the movers brought our stuff. She had to take it with her everywhere for a couple days. I didn't want to accidently lose it, so we went to Toys R Us to let her pick out her own. She now has a pink bag with Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella on the front. Joran even found a few things at Target that he said she had to have for her purse: a tiny Sleeping Beauty doll and a perfectly pink Sleeping Beauty cell phone.
Joran also found Jasmijn's beads and sparkly skirts. From first sighting, Jasmijn has loved the beads, delights everytime she sees them, and puts them on herself first thing every morning. I think she's had up to 14 on at any one time.
Caution: Close proximity may induce melting!
