Aurora
Joran with the box of Legos he picked out from the wall in their store.
Joran admiring his bat Bionicle creation.
Aurora in the slingTuesday, March 15, 2011
Some Photos
AuroraJoran with the box of Legos he picked out from the wall in their store.Joran admiring his bat Bionicle creation.Aurora in the sling
Monday, March 14, 2011
Celebrating Candy!
We picked Daddy up from the office and ended up at the mall candy store. Jasmijn let out a gleeful squeal upon arrival, "Caaandy stoooore!" Delightfully unforgettable!
John, Joran and Jasmijn loaded up. I knew I'd get a few tastes here and there, so I didn't choose any. I'm more of a pastry and chocolate person, anyways.
John's candy was gone before we got home, but Jasmijn and Joran ended up spreading theirs out, counting it, sorting it, designing creatures with it.... I'll be reporting this on Joran's homeschool Student Learning Plan. I think it'll qualify for math and art, at least.
Love,
Jolene =)
Personal Style
Why does my daughter have a mind of her own?!
I picked out this oh-so-cute outfit for her to wear, but she adamantly refused!
And then she picked out the little number she has on below...Admittedly also very cute... and she even sort of coordinates with her brother. But... whine, whine, whine... I want to just dress her up the way I want to dress her up.
I need to buy a baby doll of my own!
Friday, March 11, 2011
I love TV!
The title of this post could be deceptive... and a bit strange if you know me. I don't watch much TV. What I do watch is mostly because I happen to be watching with my husband, children or other friends. On top of that, I didn't have a TV during much of my childhood, what I did get to watch was often controlled (adults get priority, sometimes 30 minutes was the limit "because TV's not good for you," etc...), and there was always some background voice telling me what a bad influence TV was. I think the main reason I didn't watch TV into adulthood was because of those background voices. I felt guilty whenever I sat down to watch, because I felt that I was wasting my time.
But thank goodness I got married and had kids! First my husband's passion and then my children's forced me to change my opinion completely. Now, I appreciate the television for being a window to the whole wide world without actually having to go there. Through TV, I also have access to other people's visions, ideas, imaginations, passions, etc... without having to leave my front door, either. How great is that!
I used to only really appreciate "educational" shows, such as you might find on PBS, but now I even appreciate Spongebob! Have you ever really payed attention to that little guy? What a great value system! He's loyal, hard-working, creative, entrepreneurial, friendly, cheerful, not afraid to show his feelings, honest, uplifting, fully authentic... he doesn't let "reality" get in his way, and employs a real get-er-done attitude. Oh, and he's FUNNY!
I've heard some people say that watching TV is a mindless activity. Some people say that it's not good for us, because our brains are usually in Alpha mode rather than in active Beta mode. I've read a bit of research on this and can understand some concern about how advertisers may be able to affect us when our brains are in a "meditative" Alpha state, but I'm still not convinced on that, because the research isn't reflecting our real lives... not the real life we're living in this house, anyways. What I have seen in myself is that I am thinking a lot while I watch TV, analysing the information that's coming in and asking all kinds of questions that I will later use to do further thinking and exploration on my own. As for my children, I see them watch a little TV and then start asking me questions about what they see and playing out what they've seen, reinventing it, adding to it, creating something new based on an idea from TV.
It's not that we have the TV on all the time in this house. There are still some times when I ask John to turn it off or come in the other room with me when I'm wanting company without the background noise and distraction. He honors that need. Honoring everyone's needs is part of a joyful life.
Which leads me to the fact that my time is up here on this blog as Joran has asked me to do something with him, but just one parting statement...
TV is totally tube-ular!
=P
But thank goodness I got married and had kids! First my husband's passion and then my children's forced me to change my opinion completely. Now, I appreciate the television for being a window to the whole wide world without actually having to go there. Through TV, I also have access to other people's visions, ideas, imaginations, passions, etc... without having to leave my front door, either. How great is that!
I used to only really appreciate "educational" shows, such as you might find on PBS, but now I even appreciate Spongebob! Have you ever really payed attention to that little guy? What a great value system! He's loyal, hard-working, creative, entrepreneurial, friendly, cheerful, not afraid to show his feelings, honest, uplifting, fully authentic... he doesn't let "reality" get in his way, and employs a real get-er-done attitude. Oh, and he's FUNNY!
I've heard some people say that watching TV is a mindless activity. Some people say that it's not good for us, because our brains are usually in Alpha mode rather than in active Beta mode. I've read a bit of research on this and can understand some concern about how advertisers may be able to affect us when our brains are in a "meditative" Alpha state, but I'm still not convinced on that, because the research isn't reflecting our real lives... not the real life we're living in this house, anyways. What I have seen in myself is that I am thinking a lot while I watch TV, analysing the information that's coming in and asking all kinds of questions that I will later use to do further thinking and exploration on my own. As for my children, I see them watch a little TV and then start asking me questions about what they see and playing out what they've seen, reinventing it, adding to it, creating something new based on an idea from TV.
It's not that we have the TV on all the time in this house. There are still some times when I ask John to turn it off or come in the other room with me when I'm wanting company without the background noise and distraction. He honors that need. Honoring everyone's needs is part of a joyful life.
Which leads me to the fact that my time is up here on this blog as Joran has asked me to do something with him, but just one parting statement...
TV is totally tube-ular!
=P
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Worthiness
It just occured to me that having children has really helped me develop a sense of worthiness.
The reason for this is that my children ask for everything and want to follow their hearts' desires, and I want that for them. So, I have a sense that they are worthy. As I see them as worthy, I cannot help but see myself as worthy, because they are no different from me. I also used to be a child, with so many desires, and I deserved to skip along, fulfilling my hearts desires, and I deserve to do so now and throughout my life.
Love,
Jolene =)
The reason for this is that my children ask for everything and want to follow their hearts' desires, and I want that for them. So, I have a sense that they are worthy. As I see them as worthy, I cannot help but see myself as worthy, because they are no different from me. I also used to be a child, with so many desires, and I deserved to skip along, fulfilling my hearts desires, and I deserve to do so now and throughout my life.
Love,
Jolene =)
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Winter Break
We're all snowed in and our 6yo neighbor comes over to keep us company. Just in time! Joran's no longer restless and I'm blogging peacefully downstairs with Jasmijn playing nearby and Aurora sleeping in the sling.
Appreciating little boys who trapse through the snow to see a friend!
A little later, they're so excited to go outside that grabbing sleds takes priority over grabbing warm clothes:
And then they throw a Zombie Party in which I attend as a Voodoo Witch...
And everyone has a swingin' time!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Stumbling
It's been one of those days, peppered with some aggravation with Joran. He torments Jasmijn here and there, he cries and whines about perceived unfairness, he uses mean words against Jasmijn and I.... I work my way through the frustration and anger, trying not to be mean myself. Then, towards the end of the day, he stumbles over something most people would have seen in front of them, and he splats down on the floor. As he cries out in pain, I suddenly remember all of the other little accidents throughout the day. I understand what is going on, and my eyes fill with tears of compassion.
Joran feels "off balance," literally and figuratively. The sensory input he gets is too much or too little: lights are too bright, noises too loud, the curb was closer than he thought, he didn't see the book on the floor.... We all have these moments, but imagine it multiplied into almost every moment in motion! It's no wonder Joran usually wants to stay home in his familiar environment. It's no wonder his behaviors sometimes seem rude, disrespectful, aggressive or even violent. He's trying extra hard to control his life, because there's a little extra that feels out of control for him.
I don't think he's alone. I know a lot of adults who have similar sensitivities, but have adapted to these sensitivities. In fact, we're all a little quirky. As adults, we're free to avoid most situations that make us uncomfortable. For children, this is a different story. Children are at the mercy of adults' decisions, and it is an adult's world. Besides, quirkiness isn't always acceptable (especially in an environment that depends on children behaving and progressing in a more predicable fashion, such as school). Among children, I don't think my son is an anomaly at all. I imagine all children feel small, helpless and out-of-control in a world that is often confusing and overwhelming even for adults.
For these reasons, I don't "punish" my children. The world holds enough natural consequences as it is. Not to mention the punishment of having a frustrated mother. Instead, I try to use the moment as an opportunity to practice unconditional love. I talk to my kids, I try to offer guidance, I reach for creative solutions for everyone's gain, I give in as much as I can, because I am the adult who chose to bring them into the world, which puts me in a position to be responsible for my own needs, and to facilitate the fulfillment of theirs as much as possible. I try to be an example of a person living life the way I think is best... happily.
I don't go for rewards, either. My son has demonstrated more times than I care to admit that he can outsmart any reward system I put in place. Nor would I want to set up a system that supports lies and manipulation in our relationship. In any case, my efforts to manipulate him through punishments or rewards will teach him that using physical or intellectual power to dominate others is okay. Not really the way to a more compassionate, partnership-based world.
This responsibility that I put on myself brings me to the Nuclear Family Dilemma. So far, it feels impossible to get everyone's needs met under this model. The best I can do is try to gather a close-knit community of friends, neighbors, family and other teachers and coaches around me. I can't say I want to live in a tribe, either. I like globalization, at least its many positive aspects. I think humanity is advancing and evolving... I'm just not sure how it's all going to work out. So, I keep stumbling forward.
Maybe I'm like Joran in this way, stumbling about in unfamiliar territory. I want to do things differently from how they were done when I was a child. I want to trust myself through this process rather than following someone else's prescription. I'm always seeking to walk the path according to my own power and confidence. Yes, a lot like Joran.
For me, it's an exercise into a special sort of Awareness. Feeling into all my feelings for the best action in each moment. Sometimes that means continuing to just be with those feelings and accept the situation as it is. I practice appreciation and compassion as much for myself as for my children. I practice squinting my eyes just right to see myself in each of my children and to see the perfection in us all. I practice this everywhere I go, with everyone I meet.
Humbly Yours,
Jolene =)
Joran feels "off balance," literally and figuratively. The sensory input he gets is too much or too little: lights are too bright, noises too loud, the curb was closer than he thought, he didn't see the book on the floor.... We all have these moments, but imagine it multiplied into almost every moment in motion! It's no wonder Joran usually wants to stay home in his familiar environment. It's no wonder his behaviors sometimes seem rude, disrespectful, aggressive or even violent. He's trying extra hard to control his life, because there's a little extra that feels out of control for him.
I don't think he's alone. I know a lot of adults who have similar sensitivities, but have adapted to these sensitivities. In fact, we're all a little quirky. As adults, we're free to avoid most situations that make us uncomfortable. For children, this is a different story. Children are at the mercy of adults' decisions, and it is an adult's world. Besides, quirkiness isn't always acceptable (especially in an environment that depends on children behaving and progressing in a more predicable fashion, such as school). Among children, I don't think my son is an anomaly at all. I imagine all children feel small, helpless and out-of-control in a world that is often confusing and overwhelming even for adults.
For these reasons, I don't "punish" my children. The world holds enough natural consequences as it is. Not to mention the punishment of having a frustrated mother. Instead, I try to use the moment as an opportunity to practice unconditional love. I talk to my kids, I try to offer guidance, I reach for creative solutions for everyone's gain, I give in as much as I can, because I am the adult who chose to bring them into the world, which puts me in a position to be responsible for my own needs, and to facilitate the fulfillment of theirs as much as possible. I try to be an example of a person living life the way I think is best... happily.
I don't go for rewards, either. My son has demonstrated more times than I care to admit that he can outsmart any reward system I put in place. Nor would I want to set up a system that supports lies and manipulation in our relationship. In any case, my efforts to manipulate him through punishments or rewards will teach him that using physical or intellectual power to dominate others is okay. Not really the way to a more compassionate, partnership-based world.
This responsibility that I put on myself brings me to the Nuclear Family Dilemma. So far, it feels impossible to get everyone's needs met under this model. The best I can do is try to gather a close-knit community of friends, neighbors, family and other teachers and coaches around me. I can't say I want to live in a tribe, either. I like globalization, at least its many positive aspects. I think humanity is advancing and evolving... I'm just not sure how it's all going to work out. So, I keep stumbling forward.
Maybe I'm like Joran in this way, stumbling about in unfamiliar territory. I want to do things differently from how they were done when I was a child. I want to trust myself through this process rather than following someone else's prescription. I'm always seeking to walk the path according to my own power and confidence. Yes, a lot like Joran.
For me, it's an exercise into a special sort of Awareness. Feeling into all my feelings for the best action in each moment. Sometimes that means continuing to just be with those feelings and accept the situation as it is. I practice appreciation and compassion as much for myself as for my children. I practice squinting my eyes just right to see myself in each of my children and to see the perfection in us all. I practice this everywhere I go, with everyone I meet.
Humbly Yours,
Jolene =)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Joran's Second Set
Joran lost his first 2 teeth within days of eachother. They just fell out of his mouth, no blood. Yet another sign that he's growing up!Honestly, I'm really seeing big changes in his character and behaviors. Is it because he's now 6? Is it the effect of a new baby sister? Is it just time? We've entered a new phase.
On Positivity
I was commenting to a friend recently about how positive she is, and I loved her response:
"Oh, I tried the other way, and that was crummy!"
These photos turned out pretty well. Jasmijn's just focused on her candy.
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